Building Resilience to Weather Life Challenges
Have the sheer number of life challenges in the past few years, seriously drained your inner reserves, affecting your energy and sense of well-being? Do you find yourself in need of more effective strategies to help you navigate life’s ups and downs? Some events over the last few years may have even altered your life course. Perhaps it was the loss of a loved one, an accident, an injury, an illness, or an economic hardship. No one is immune from stress, adversity, or trauma. How well did you adapt to recent unexpected events, and what has it cost you in terms of energy and focus? Since unforeseen events are a part of life, what action steps can you take to be more prepared for the next time something unexpected happens?
Preparing for the Unknown
Preparing for the unknown may be as simple as bringing along a raincoat or umbrella on a cloudy day. Or, if you enjoy the outdoors, like backpacking into the wild, whitewater rafting, or climbing, more risk is involved. When planning for your adventure, perhaps you took a class or consulted with friends or experts, or even hired a guide who was more experienced than you, who helped you to “prepare for the unexpected”. Preparation can mean the difference between a successful, confidence-building adventure or a misadventure.
Unfortunately, life does not come with a set of instructions or a map. Instead, from childhood on, each new experience becomes a learning lesson that affects your thinking, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors. Overwhelming events have the biggest impact on you, especially when your body interprets the event as threatening. After such an event, any future situation that reminds your body of the first event may trigger unwanted nervous system-induced sensations of sweating, rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, or even a feeling of being frozen, unable to act. Has that ever happened to you?
Yes, life is full of unexpected twists and turns, delivering challenges that you can easily meet as well as challenges that leave you feeling exhausted and defeated. Peter Levine, the creator of Somatic Experiencing®, a naturalistic approach to resolving trauma and overwhelm, likens life’s journey to a river that is normally bound by its banks. In the river are rocks, whirlpools, and rapids, representing life’s challenges. Sometimes, the banks of the river are breached, and flooding occurs. In other words, it’s not a smooth, predictable ride! How well you adapt over time to life-changing situations and stress reflects your capacity for resilience.
Understanding Resilience
Although you were born with a measure of biological resilience that worked to complete your physiological development, resilience post-birth is gradually acquired with each subsequent experience and includes your response to the event(s) and the meaning that you assigned to the event(s). In time, you either formed a “can do” attitude towards life’s challenges or you may have been left feeling overwhelmed by them. It often depends upon the resources and support that were available at the time.
Resilience also involves the ability to adapt well to change. Adaptation includes the strategies you’ve developed, the go-to mental strategies you’ve used in the past that helped you perceive, adjust, modify, and transform situations, experiences, or expectations. No simple task! But remember, these qualities can be cultivated and strengthened and all of us possess them to a certain extent.
Being resilient does not mean that you won’t experience distress or difficulties. But, by setting the intention to cultivate resilience, you will be better prepared the next time a difficult experience arises. In their article on “Building Your Resilience”, the American Psychological Association recommends the following four key factors that will help you be better prepared for whatever life throws your way.
Prioritize your relationships. Support is vital when you go through difficult times. Feeling connected to caring, empathetic, trustworthy people will fortify you, reminding you that you’re not alone. Because isolation is a common response when you’ve become engulfed in an overwhelming event, you may find it helpful to join a group of individuals who have experienced similar situations or who are active in supporting their community socially. Doing so will help buoy you up, restoring your hope and faith in humanity. Who are the supportive people in your life and how well do you maintain those connections? These relationships usually become reciprocal, when you’re able to offer support to others, when they find themselves in need.
Take care of your health. Stress taxes your physical and mental health. Hydration, proper nutrition, regular exercise, and sleep will help build your resilience, helping your body to adapt to stress. It will also lower your chances of succumbing to depression or anxiety. You might also consider developing a mindfulness practice that includes slowing down, checking in with yourself, journaling, prayer, or meditating on things that bring you peace and hope. Focusing on what is going well in your life and on the things you are grateful for has been shown to fortify resilience. Finally, make a concerted effort to avoid negative outlets like alcohol, drugs, or other substances that distract you from fully participating in your life in a conscious, intentional way.
Re-discover your sense of purpose. When you reach out to help others in need, it restores a sense of purpose, builds self-worth, and reinforces your connection to others, strengthening your resilience in the process. Too, engaging in self-inquiry, asking yourself questions, or becoming curious about your body’s response to stress can help you reframe the meaning of stress in your life. To restore a sense of momentum in your life, try setting small, reachable goals. Breaking down a difficult problem into manageable pieces and then taking a small action step will move you forward. It’s the feeling of being stuck and powerless that drains resilience, so any forward movement, no matter how small, is a victory. Coming through difficult times is rewarding, often improving relationships, fortifying your sense of accomplishment, and deepening your appreciation for life.
Protect your thinking. When worry and anxiety take over, it can become a struggle to maintain a positive outlook. It’s easy to fall into the habit of “awfulizing” everything if you’ve lost your perspective. Although you may not be able to change your circumstances, you can control how you think about it. Because optimism is one of the first things affected when you’re overwhelmed, it may be hard to believe that your life won’t always be like this. How you interpret and respond to an event can determine its impact on you while also enlightening you about your own personal capacity for resilience. You’ll know that you’ve turned a corner when you begin expecting that good things will happen to you. Finally, drawing upon previous strategies that got you through situations in the past, is a sign of resilience.
Above all, please remember that you don’t have to go this alone. If you are having trouble functioning, reach out to loved ones, support groups, or mental health professionals. Be patient and compassionate with yourself. Building resilience takes time but is well worth the effort!
